According to the American Psychological Association, nearly 90% of American adults report feeling stressed during the holidays. Are you one of them?
The reasons for feeling stressed are many, with unrealistic expectations being a common denominator. Let’s explore where those expectations originate and how to tame them and bring calm to our calendars.
Where do unrealistic holiday expectations come from?
Nostalgic memories, setting our standards at perfection, and people-pleasing… all of which set us up for disappointment. After all, we…
listen to cheery Christmas songs about the “most wonderful time of the year”
watch movies where grinches and scrooges turn into generous benefactors of their communities, or where two unlikely lovers end the movie with a kiss
exchange cards with perfect snow-covered starlit scenes
strive to recreate childlike excitement for the next generation
and overall, expect a magical holiday, not a messy reality.
As a result, we burden ourselves with achieving more than is realistic: We perceive expectations for perfect decorations inside and outside, presents for EVERYONE, attendance at every holiday gathering, and so much more.
We spend too much, eat and drink too much, do too much, and rest too little. Our calendars are jam-packed and our to-do lists are never finished.
How can we tame unrealistic holiday expectations?
We can tame unrealistic holiday expectations by creating reasonable and realistic expectations. Prioritize what is most important and meaningful to you during the holidays and pass on what is not. Saying no to an unrealistic expectation is saying yes to a priority.
When making and fulfilling holiday plans feels overwhelming, follow the advice outlined in these posts, which are easily remembered by A, B, and C:
When big projects and plans during the holidays threaten to cause undue stress, follow these 5 tips for tackling BIG projects and these 5 tips for accomplishing stress-free planning.
However, good intentions will be for naught if you don’t take control of your calendar. But how do we take control?
How can we bring calm to our calendars?
By scheduling enough time to accomplish your priorities. Write them in your calendar. Be realistic. Big tasks will require chunks of time on multiple days. Asking others to help will require coordinating with their schedules. Remember that most tasks take more time than we anticipate.
Additionally, block out time for the daily routines that often get overlooked during the holidays. Be sure to include adequate time to rest and reboot. Stress can lead to illness. Keep yourself healthy by eating, moving, and sleeping enough.
When your calendar is filled with what brings you joy and keeps you healthy, you are less likely to fill it with unrealistic expectations.
"There are two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations." ~ Jodi Picoult
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